Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who rap battle

Add snark and rhymes with a dash of cosplay. Season with fandom rivalry. Bake on high in a well-greased Youtube pan. Serve.


RIP The Rani: Actress Kate O’Mara died today


3/30/14 Kate O’Mara died today at age 74. The actress was known and favored by many fandoms for her roles in the TV shows Doctor Who, Dynasty, Howards’ Way, Triangle, Absolutely Fabulous, The Saint, The Champions, The Avengers and Z-Cars. She also had a following for cult-classic B-movies such as The Vampire Lovers (1970, Hammer Films). While such roles made as much use of her busty charms as her prodigious acting talents, O’Mara retained both a sense of humor about it and considerable sex appeal even in her 70s. In an interview last year, she indicated that she would love to return to Doctor Who:

“I have white hair now, but a lot of it, and I’m still very glamorous and so I won’t disappoint, I hope! I’ll still be wearing the tight leather trousers and high-heel boots, regardless of what age! That’s what the fans are expecting, so that’s what you’ve got to give them.”

Sadly that was not to be. A prolific actress of stage and screen, O’Mara will be much missed and will be fondly remembered. She made an indelible mark on the Whovian Universe for her role on Doctor Who as the evil Time Lady, The Rani. Fans and colleagues tweeted their respects, including Colin Baker who played the sixth incarnation of The Doctor.


32 Doctor Who quotes for any occasion

Doctor Who - Series 7B


“Time travel is like visiting Paris. You can’t just read the guidebook, you’ve got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! Or is that just me?”
— The Ninth Doctor, The Long Game

“Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly, in the right order?”
— The Eleventh Doctor, Vincent and The Doctor

“Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.”
— The Tenth Doctor, The Lazarus Experiment

“Time isn’t a straight line. It’s all… bumpy-wumpy. There’s loads of boring stuff. Like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Impossible Astronaut

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.”
— The Tenth Doctor, Blink

Sexy Things

“Biting’s excellent. It’s like kissing, only there’s a winner!”
— Idris, The Doctor’s Wife

Uniquely You

“Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Rings of Akhaten

“We all change. When you think about it, we’re all different people all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all people that you used to be.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Time of The Doctor

“You’ve decided that the universe is better off without you. But the universe doesn’t agree.”
— River Song, The Wedding of River Song

“The name you choose. It’s like a promise you make.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Name of The Doctor

Generally Good Advice

“Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!”
—The Eleventh Doctor; The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe

“Never ignore coincidence. Unless, of course, you’re busy. In which case, always ignore coincidence.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Pandorica Opens

“Don’t get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that?”
— The Eleventh Doctor, Journey to the Centre of the Tardis

“There’s something out of place – let’s go and poke it with a stick.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, Amy’s Choice

“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes.”
— The Fourth Doctor, Robot

“There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.”
— The Tenth Doctor, Fear Her

“I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Almost People

“You can’t rule the world in hiding. You’ve got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle.”
— The Fourth Doctor, Terror of the Zygons

Madder and Better

“When you’re a kid, they tell you it’s all grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that’s it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It’s so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.”
— Elton Pope, Love and Monsters

“Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way.”
— The Seventh Doctor, The Greatest Show In The Galaxy

A Pile of Good Things And Bad Things

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, Vincent and The Doctor

Cursed. It’s big with humans. It means bad things are happening but you can’t be bothered to find an explanation.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Curse of the Black Spot

“Every now and then, a little victim’s spared. Because she smiled, because he’s got freckles, because they begged. And that’s how you live with yourself. That’s how you slaughter millions. Because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind’s in the right direction, you happen to be kind.”
— The Ninth Doctor, Boom Town

“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Wedding of River Song

Good Men

“Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, A Good Man Goes to War

“Whatever you’ve got planned, forget it. I’m the Doctor. I’m 904 years old. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Casterborous. I am The Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness and you are basically just a rabbit, aren’t you?”
-The Tenth Doctor, The Day of the Doctor

“You gave me hope and then you took it away. That’s enough to make anyone dangerous. God knows what it’ll do to me.”
— The Eleventh Doctor, The Doctor’s Wife

Work To Do, Things Happening and A Lizard

“Listen, gotta dash. Things. Happening. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard.”
— The Tenth Doctor, Blink

“There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea’s asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there’s danger, somewhere there’s injustice, and somewhere else the tea’s getting cold. Come on, Ace. We’ve got work to do.”
— The Seventh Doctor, Survival

“A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.”
— The Third Doctor, The Time Warrior

“First things first; but not necessarily in that order.”
— The Fourth Doctor, Meglos

“Go forward in all of your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”
— The First Doctor, The Dalek Invasion of Earth

And Six DW Conversations Worth Repeating

Sally Sparrow: I love old things. They make me feel sad.
Kathy Nightingale: What’s good about sad?
Sally Sparrow: It’s happy for deep people.
from Blink

Jabe: The Gift of Peace. [takes a cutting, hands it to the Doctor] I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather.
The Doctor: Thank you! [hands Jabe’s cutting to Rose] Yes, gifts, um… [clearing his throat] I give you, in return, air from my lungs. [blows into Jabe’s face]
Jabe: [surprised] How… intimate.
The Doctor: There’s more where that came from.
from The End of the World

The Tenth Doctor: [Offering his sonic screwdriver.] Need this?
The Fifth Doctor: No, I’m fine.
The Tenth Doctor: Oh, no, of course. You liked to go hands free, didn’t you? Like, “Hey, I’m the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string. And look at me, I’m wearing a vegetable!”
from Time Crash

The Doctor: There’s an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom and consolation to the soul in times of need.
Addams: What’s that, then?
The Doctor: [shouts] Allons-y!!
from Curse of the Black Spot

Ace: Don’t you have things you hate?
Doctor: I can’t stand burnt toast. I loathe bus stations. Terrible places. Full of lost luggage and lost souls.
Ace: I told you I never wanted to come back here again.
Doctor: And then there’s unrequited love. And tyranny. And cruelty.
Ace: Too right!
Doctor: We all have a universe of our own terrors to face.
Ace: I face mine on my own terms.
from Ghost Light

CRAIG: Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit weird?
DOCTOR: They never really stop.
from The Lodger

#savetheday : Doctor Who 50th anniversary trailer

Unless you’ve been in a well at the bottom of the earth or held captive by the Cult of Skaro, you’ve probably heard that BBC is celebrating the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who with a mind-blowing episode. “The Day of the Doctor” airs November 23 2013. It will be “simulcast” ie broadcast in 75 countries at the same time… and (in some places) in 3D. It has been described by one of the producers as “a love letter to the fans”.


Moffat keeps his promise

In case you haven’t been keep up with the spectacles and debacles of pop culture/sci-fi: BBCAmerica accidentally released season 7 pt 2 BluRays  a couple of weeks early including the episode “The Name of the Doctor”. In that episode, the season finale, the mystery involving Clara (the impossible girl) was resolved and much was speculated as to whether the Doctor’s name would be revealed to audiences. Moffat promised that if the fandom kept the Doctor’s secrets secret (suppressed the release of spoilers and clips, bootleg videos) until after the official TV airing (May 18th) that he would reward viewers with a clip of Matt Smith & David Tennant (Doctors 10 & 11) together.  As hard as the fan lockdown was I think we should be rewarded with a clip of the pair kissing but that’s another fandom (slash) entirely. That’s a promise for Comic-con or Graham Norton to keep. Moffat kept his.


A Message from Steven Moffat

Saturday 18 May 2013, 20:57

 The Doctor Who Team

The Doctor Who Team

Doctor Who’s Executive Producer and lead writer, Steven Moffat.A little earlier, Doctor Who’s lead writer and executive producer, Steven Moffat, gave this thank you message…

Well that was all a bit Keystone Cops, wasn’t it? Our biggest surprise, our most secret episode, a revelation about the Doctor that changes everything…

… and we’d have got away with it too, if we hadn’t accidentally sent Blu Ray copies of Name Of The Doctor to 210 Doctor Who fans in America.

Erm – security-wise, that’s not GOOD, is it? I mean, it’s not top notch, it’s hard to defend as professional level, hard-line secrecy.

My favourite fact is that they’re BLU RAYS. Listen, we don’t just leak any old rubbish, we leak in high def. 1080p or nothing, that’s us. Every last pixel in beautifully rendered detail. It’s like getting caught extra naked.

But here’s the thing. Never mind us blundering fools, check out the fans. 210 of them, with the top secret episode in their grasp – and because we asked nicely, they didn’t breathe a word. Not one. Even Doctor Who websites have been closing their comments sections, just in case anyone blurts. I’m gobsmacked. I’m impressed. Actually, I’m humbled. And we are all very grateful.

Now you might be thinking, what does all this matter? It’s a plot development in the mad old fantasy world of Doctor Who, why is that important? Well of course, it’s not important, and in the scheme of things, it doesn’t matter at all. Just as it doesn’t matter when you’re telling a joke, and some idiot shouts out the punchline before you finish. It’s irritating, that’s all. It’s bad manners.

Well no bad manners here! 210 Doctor Who fans kept the secret, and many, many more fans helped. I wish I could send you all flowers, but I don’t know where you live (and given our record, you really shouldn’t be sharing private information with us.) So instead, if we can get our act together – and I forgive you for thinking that’s a BIG if – there will be a little video treat released later tonight.

10 plus 11 gives you…

That video is available to watch now!

No, she’s not! Shooting down Doctor Who “who is Clara?” theories

First an apology. I know I promised to devote more time and bandwidth to geek loves other than Doctor Who. But the first rule is: The Doctor lies. Apparently it’s contagious. Writing about the Doctor is enough for you to catch the liar-flu. So in my best Ten/Tennant voice: I am sorry. I am so sorry.

  • Apology? Check.
  • Jelly babies in hand? Check.
  • Spoiler alert?

Yes, there will be spoilers ahead. I will compare, analyze, deconstruct and discard trivia from all of the aired episodes, radio/print/web interviews, articles, blogs and forums all over the known whoniverse. All to answer a burning question that will be answered in a week or two. But we’re time travelers. We’re impatient.

When I say we’re time travelers. I mean it. All of us travel in space and time. We just tend to do it slowly and in one direction. Unless you consider memory a form of travel into the past -which I think that head writer/executive producer Steven Moffat does. But that’s another blog for another time.

Who is Clara Oswin Oswald?

She is not who you think she is. More important, my whovian brothers/sisters/and multi- or ungendered folk, she is not who you want her to be. Because most theories about the mystery of the “impossible girl” are just that. Sort of wooly headed wishful thinking that makes me go “WHAT?”

Prime example: Rose. A favorite fantasy of who bloggers is that Clara is the return of Rose. The basic logic of the blogs is “I miss Rose. Maybe she is Rose.” Um, no. No she’s not. Rose exists happily in an alternate universe with an alternate humany Doctor.

But Bad Wolf Rose? The sort of tardis-rose mergy thing that was all powerful. It was everywhere and everything and I didn’t really get that anyway. Couldn’t she be that Rose?

No she’s not. Bad Wolf was an event. And a warning of the event. A recurring theme that implied a destiny and inevitability of events, including Rose leaving the universe (and Billie Piper leaving the show) at Bad Wolf Bay.

If Ten.2 and Rose had a baby, then Clara could be that baby.

No. No she’s couldn’t. First, you’ve been reading too much Twilight and I can promise you that Moffat has not. Second, imagine humany Ten and human Rose have a baby in a parallel universe but an identical timeline. She grows up superfast. She then appears in our world in the Victorian era, current era and distant future. She dies in the past and future where she is buried or blown up but she reappears as an identical woman, the same exact age, the exact same name but no memories of either lives or the Doctor. She is however supplied with family, friends, obligations and all the trappings of “normal life”. Because timelords are like that.

No they’re not. No she’s not.

Give it up, Rose is gone. This is fan-fic narcissism. TV writers can be fans but they don’t as a rule do the mad scientist mesh and merging that happens in slash fan fiction. The character of Rose is distinct and separate. It belongs to the actress Billie Piper. The character of the Doctor is unique in his actor-hopping/regenerative abilities. (Unique in the way that the Master, Romana and all timelords are. Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper too?) But it is clear that each regeneration is a separate new being, an unknown entity, and switching actors is similar to death to the past incarnation. This is as much respect to the actors as the fans. It’s a brilliant bit of television evolution.

If she’s not Rose, maybe she’s River.

No she’s not. All the same reasons above. A River Song without Alex Kingston would be pointless and insulting. Besides we’ve seen her regenerations. Also, River is dead. So not River. Not the child of Doctor and River. Really, stop that. Not Jenny (the child of the Doctor and the Machine). There is nothing timelordy about being dead in multiple centuries but reappearing with the same face and no memories. Timelords avoid dying by changing.

Important point about Clara is that she did not avoid dying. She died and was buried and then the camera pans ahead 100 years and she’s literally walking on her own grave.

  • Clara did die.
  • Clara did not change.

She didn’t change her physical appearance or even her name. Is she related to herself? We don’t know but we can assume if it was something as simple as family resemblance (which has been referred to in past episodes as when the actress Freema Agyeman played a Torchwood employee-turned-cyberman prior to becoming the Doctor’s companion, Martha Jones. “I had a cousin at Canary Warf.”) then the Doctor wouldn’t have had so much trouble finding her again.

What dies but doesn’t? If you’re simply searching the DW canon you’ll find lots more choices than just timelords. One name comes to mind. Rory. Rory died and returned with such consistency that he became like Kenny from South Park: “They’ve killed Rory. The Bastards.” How did he do it? Plasticene duplicate, alternate timeline, hallucinogenic dreamlord, Weeping Angel paradox.

No, I don’t see much Clara there. But wait… what if the weeping angels partnered up with the Silence and have been bouncing her around in time but messing with her memory or maybe she drank tequila made with memory worm… which explains time travel and amnesia but not resurrection. Hmmm.

Maybe she’s a…

No, no she’s not.

The many versions of Clara Oswald

Doctor Who loses a million viewers in a week

DOCTOR Who has shed a million viewers in a week — with last Saturday’s show branded the WORST EVER by disappointed fans.

The latest episode, the second in the new BBC series, was watched by 5.7 million people, compared with the 6.7 million who tuned in at Easter.

The drop is significant for the second instalment starring the Time Lord’s new companion Clara Oswald — played by actress Jenna-Louise Coleman, 26.

She replaced Karen Gillan and Beeb chiefs hoped she would help lift ratings.

Jenna-Louise Coleman

New face … Jenna-Louise Coleman

Saturday’s episode, The Rings Of Akhaten, was the first written by respected scriptwriter Neil Cross — creator of the awardwinning Luther series.

But despite his pedigree, angry fans took to social networks to complain the show had lost its way.

Helen Paling tweeted: “Just caught up with Doctor Who. Wish I hadn’t. Boring rubbish.” Anna Hough wrote: “Genuinely the worst episode I have ever seen.”

Read more:

Thanks to Don’t Blink (one of the DW fan communities on FB) for bringing this my attention. I didn’t need a million viewers to verify what I already thought. See my comments below. I think that the actress brings a lot of possibility to the role –unfortunately, we the viewers like both of her dead characters (the Victorian nanny/barmaid and Souffle Girl/dalek) much more than we like her. While I support the general polyamorous nature of time travel and its explored though not spoken outright in the show, the loss of the Ponds did not include the loss of River Song. So the introduction of a companion who might want to join him in his *snogging booth*, is hurtful and confusing to viewers. I think it shows a general distrust of the current writers as much as dislike of the new companion. I’m hating Moffat for his general disregard for continuity… ie destroying the weeping angels as a brilliant and believable monster for the shits and giggles of having “baby angels” and the Statue of Liberty creature –which served no function than as a visual gag.

Me to DW producers: “Did you forget everything? Everyone? Did you think we wouldn’t notice? Notice that the Tardis has stopped translating so that we can have comic effects like barking aliens? We notice everything. The missing year. Yep, noticed that.

  • G.L. Morrison (Spoiler alert.) There’s not much that would stop me from viewing but I was disgusted with the second episode which I have dubbed “Rings of Whatever”. It was terribly written. It was part Star Wars canteena and part segue to future episodes in which *something* might happen. Anything interesting such as the “psychic” economy and the idea of a vampiric sun, and his monster alarm clock(?) etc were tossed together as sort of throwaway one liners, barely explored as complications and then resolved like a child’s boo-boo; kiss on the knee, all better. Everything was dipped in a pot of blandness. None of it moved the story in any way. It was all big special effects and hinting at, “I have stories I could tell you but they should never be said.” Big special effects? Seriously? You think that’s what impresses us? We’re Doctor Who fans. The lowest budget sci-fi around. Tell us a fricking story not “ooo stories are magic, sorry I couldn’t be bothered to write one.” Just saying. As for Clara, I like the character a lot but the actress admitting she’d only ever seen one DW (the fish fingers and custard episode) did not make her likable in the companion special BBC ran before the show.

Another fan video: The Doctor/The Master/Rassilon?

I’ve been watching a lot of DW fan vids this week. A number of them are original creations like The Doctor Puppet or Doctor Whooves. Even more abundant are the vid-mixes… sort of the house v-jay that does a remix of clips from selected episodes to favorite song with the intent that the combination adds dramatic or comic effect. The addition of lyrics may even create a 3 minute novelization based on well-known characters but with entirely different motivations or backstories.

I love a good gay romance even (or perhaps especially) where none was intended.

The Master mixer (pun intended) of these youtube channels is koloSigma1. Often mixing clips with both classic Doctor Who and the modern reboot with some esoteric music, KoloSigma1 has “mastered” the Doctor/Master slash genre. I have filled my personal playlist and watched and rewatched trying to decide on a top 3 (or maybe top 5) to share.

But with a stroke of perhaps regrettable whimsy, the Doctor/Master pairing I’ve decided to offer is none of the above. Instead here is a Time Lord love triangle: simultaneously poignant and silly.