Warning: Spoilers! If you haven’t seen the episodes The Lodger or Closing Time, don’t read any further. Seriously. Bookmark this. Go watch them now (season 7.1 is currently on demand for Comcast captives) and come back. We’ll wait.
Lately whenever I get a little depressed or antsy waiting for the next book, movie or season of my beloved fictional hero to appear, I wander aimlessly through the gardens of fan fiction, comics, art and vids. I love the imagination and passion shared by other folks who love Doctor Who. So inventive. We love Doctor Who. And we’d love to see Doctor Who loving… who?
Sweetest Fan Pairings (part one)
Unlikely coupling? The entire episode, Closing Time, rotates around the mistaken assumption of onlookers that the Doctor and Craig are lovers.
DOCTOR: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking.
DOCTOR: Well, because, because, because I love you.
CRAIG: You love me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. It’s you. It’s always been you.
DOCTOR: Is that so surprising?
(The Doctor puts his arms around Craig’s neck and uses the sonic screwdriver on whatever it behind the definitely not a lift any more scene behind him.)
CRAIG: Doctor, are you going to kiss me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. Yes, I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I’ve had some wonderful feedback.
CRAIG: Doctor, no. I can’t. I’m taken.
(Craig looks behind him.)
CRAIG: Oh, my God!
DOCTOR: Or we could just hold hands if it make you’d feel more comfortable.
Some more quaint dialogue.
VAL: Hope you don’t mind me saying, Doctor, but I think you look ever so sweet, you and your partner and the baby.
DOCTOR: Partner. Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
VAL: Companion sounds old-fashioned. There’s no need to be coy these days.
CRAIG: How do you do that? It’s a power, isn’t it. Some sort of weird alien hypnotic power. I bet you excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you.
DOCTOR: Would that I could, Craig.
(The Doctor looks through a curtain and a woman screams.)
DOCTOR: Er, sorry, Madam. I’d try that in red if I were you.
CRAIG: I’m right though, aren’t I?
DOCTOR: Well, you love me, I’ve never excreted any weird alien gases at you.
CRAIG: I don’t love you. Don’t start that again.
DOCTOR: Yes, I know. Course he does. Of course you do. We’re partners.
In fact, the Doctor uses his employee discount to buy his partner a papoose sling to carry the baby in because Stormageddon thinks Craig is too slow when summoned.
VAL: It suits you.
(Craig has a new shirt.)
VAL: Discount applies to partners.
VAL: Are you two married then?
CRAIG: No, no. We talked about it, but it’s just a piece of paper, isn’t it?
CRAIG: The Cybermen. They blew up. I blew them up with love.
DOCTOR: No, that’s impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one’s own genes, which in turn triggered a, a, a. Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.
Of course not everyone is as forgiving about the grossly sentimental and an episode that turns out to be as the Doctor predicted when he rang Craig’s doorbell “just a social call”. In fact The Escapist ran a rather unsentimental op-ed entitled “Let’s Kill Craig.”